It begins daily with my desire to stay sober. Asking for help, meditation, prayer. Someone told me once to stay as clean as possible in the steps. Wow that can be a chore at times. But when I see how awful lives can be (and yet again) I do not want that pain. No more, no how. That is why my resolve may wain but I still do what I have been taught daily, to stay sober.
Now, staying free from pain aint' gonna happen. So living this new life with sorrow, fear, comes along with joy, peace, contenment. Can I have one and not the other. No.
So, in the past 3 months there has been more tears shed for the dying. More fears revealed. It took me by surprise to say the least. At times I clung to another recovering woman just to keep my sanity in check.
And then I've had moments of clarity it talks about in the bb. Moments. But they have come and will continue as long as I do not put anything in my body. And allow God to fill my soul.
A better deal? You betcha!
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