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Allowing the flow not to consume me!

Thursday, December 5, 2013

And so the mad rush begins..


And so the mad rush begins.  The over spending (or frustration of not being able to spend), the hustle and bustle of gatherings, mailings, wrappings……..And why?

I had a thought this morning on my quiet ride to work.  If I/we give with love then our expectation should be just that.  Love.  If the giving (or not) is out of a ‘have to’ then what good is that?  With 4 grandchildren, my spending is directed at their lists.  Children next and so on.  Gifts gets smaller but what difference does that make?  I am of the mindset that if I can and it is a request within reason, then I shall turn over every rock to find that gift.

Online shopping has been so convenient.  But I feel like I am missing out on that ‘crowd’ issue so many rant about.  If I go ‘out’ with a mindset of, yes there will be lines, yes there will be screaming kids… I could go on but the point being it’s our frame of mind that causes the discomfort inside.  This weekend I hope to complete 90% and give it a big Hurrah!

On a different note someone close to me is so near the edge that I fear for them.  Whenever I see them I can see the decline and want so badly to say ‘look at what is going on’ but I keep my mouth shut.  That scares me too.  The what if’s are bad enough but turning a blind eye is probably not the solution.  I have been molded by the program of Alcoholics Anonymous to stay out of others business.  And I do for the most part.  But this is truly upsetting.  They don’t think they need help nor do they want to stop the behavior.  The losses will begin to pile up; let’s hope it isn’t too late.

Another body part goes down.  In the summer I began to have neck pain.  You know you wake up in the morning and have a stiff neck but go about your business anyway.  I was on the treadmill several different times and just felt that ache on the left side.  But again, I would just brush it off.  Until a few weeks ago.  Bam!  Not an injury but a pain shot down my neck into my back.  I nursed it and nursed it.  Held back at the gym if I went at all.  Everything seemed to bother it.  I bought a heat pack and applied it whenever I could.  Some nights I would get up several times and heat it back up and try to go back to sleep with the neat penetrating the painful area.  I say area because I can’t put my finger on the pain.  But I know where it is coming from.   I figured it was radiating from another area.  Anyway.  I was goofing off with the grandkids this past weekend playing Wii bowling.  Uh huh I turned after getting a strike and bam!  The pain took me down.  I was out for the count. 

I finally called the doctor on Monday after not being able to move my neck pain free all weekend.   After x-ray and some hands on, he determined it to be advanced arthritis.  Well that doesn’t surprise me.  So, prednisone for a few days and PT.   Return appt in January. 

So, I spill it all again as if I have a cyber-friend that listens intently.  But, it is my way of weeding through the noise in my head.

It is a warm muggy day in the south with cold air moving in.  Hopefully that won’t produce any tornados.  Fingers crossed.

 

Enjoy today, it truly is all we have…………

 

 

12/05/13

1 comment:

  1. You make such insightful comments! Especially love what you say about if we give in love, then that's all we want in return, and how so many give for other reasons that deep inside reflects things about us! Arthritis in your back; oh Jackie! I've been enjoying my morning paper ~ thanks, LL

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