There was a time that I just didn't have the ability (nor did I realize it) to truly love another human being without wanting something in return. I know. Truly sad. That has changed.... and that love includes the good and the sad.
My heart breaks for a friend of mine. Someone I have sat together in our circle for 8 years and watched each other struggle, listened to each other, encouraged one another. And then BAM! I was so sad for her last night. I saw the pain in her face, I heard the incredible agony in her voice; all I could do was listen. I suppose, at times, that is the best we can offer.
Married for almost 30 years. Not always great, but committed to children, and nearing retirement age.... things begin to change. But nothing could have prepared her.......
Leaving email open she finds a disturbing and truly life changing exchange between husband and 'old' female friend. And it was graphic. Devastation doesn't come close to describing what this has done. I am not sure, but finding out that way is like being in the same room..... her visual is painted by the words written, leaving little to imagination.
All her dreams are blasted! She told me that through thick (and there have been plenty) and thin they always remained committed to each other and raising their children. Now that main thread has been frayed.
So, there I sat, listening as her tears told more than her words and I could not hold mine back. She seemed so defeated, so small..
I turn the mirror on myself. Someone that had a sickness so deep that fidelity wasn't a word in my dictionary. I have long since changed my ways, but how many lives were affected by actions of a self absorbed, drunk, self hating individual? Changing lanes I can say I would not even consider anything close to that behavior today. Or yesterday for that matter. But I was shown how actions rip lives apart...
Her life will heal as her trust in God shows her how to forgive or at least breathe through, what could be the turning point in the lives of 4 people..... Add 1 more to that........ what a vision into my future. One that will never include encroaching on another's life........
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