Am I the only one?

Am I the ONLY one?

I shut down during the holidays for several years following my divorce.  Several being 5 or 6.  I cried anytime I was in a store and they began to play the carols I loved, as it only reminded me of my loss and that I was truly single (alone).

A couple of years ago I began to emerge from this self-imposed exile (if you will).  I put up a tree for the first time, and tried to get excited.  The following year it got better until now.  Well actually even last year I was excited for the holidays.  Don’t ask me what had changed other than my sadness had begun to dissipate.  My loneliness and anger were being overcome by gratitude.  This year is no different unless you count that I’m even happier.  I loved decorating my condo.  Outside lights and all.  I even put up my little villages.  Every night I just sit and admire the twinkling lights and know that I have come so far.

So, here it is the 16^th of December.  In a little over a week this season of good tidings will be nearly over.   I’m not ready.  I love shopping, Christmas music, hustle and bustle… ALL of it!

I think one of the reasons I hate to see it go is having something to look forward to.  The frivolity of parties and gatherings of friends and family.  This week alone I am attending a church activity, a xmas party of dear friends and Saturday my family will gather at MY place.  MINE.  That hasn’t happened in so long. 

Now, in the realization of MY happiness lie many others that struggle during this time.  Either depression or desperation.  No money or no family or both.  Struggling to find the means to give just a small item to their children.  The children orphaned and left at shelters.  The elderly that no longer have anyone to come see them.  There are so many people that just can’t get excited over a season when that season means much more negative than anything.

And then I am reminded of what we are truly celebrating.  At church yesterday the pastor danced around with children laughing at the joy of knowing that Christ was born this month.  That our JOY is in His birth not all the other “stuff”.  I know that.  I also understand that to overlook that means we are so full of ourselves that we think more of ourselves than the BABY JESUS.    

So, as I observe all of the musings, I am reminded why we are all here.  Thank you Jesus!!!! 

You certainly are my savior and many others. 

Even if you don’t believe in Jesus, then the jolly old fat man should help you with this season.

 

 

 

December 16, 2013