Short and Sweet.........

Short and Sweet and To the Point………

Some days I skip wanting to write, other days I just run out of time.  When I don’t want to write it is usually because of the mundane crap that may have eaten my lunch.  Too much negativity kills the soul.

Therapist has me reading a new book.  “I thought it was me, but it Isn’t”  Making my journey from “what will people think” to “I am enough”.  By Brene Brown.    Yes, more self-awareness.  I guess if I live to be 80 I may always be investing in “me”.   Another really neat thing is a website called, “Ted Talks”.  Check it out.  Awesome. 

I know self-analysis can me arduous at best.  I also know that if I didn’t know, I don’t know.   I also have a friend that warns me, “stop taking your temperature”.  I hear that loud and clear.  Facts remain the same.  I can exist (and do) as a functioning person and still have my insides a fricking mess and smile at you and tell you I’m ok.  Until the scale tips too far in one direction and it seems for the past 2 years I have had some really hard emotional days. 

When I got sober the last time in 2007 those initial years were the best I have had in a while.  I may have struggled still with “him” but I knew that the pieces were falling into place.  After the summer of 2011 the peace that I sooo desire waned.  The more I looked the less I had.  I could not understand what was going on.  I still don’t but therapy and medication seems to help.  My brain still swims around in self misery. 

So, I will read the newest book, I will try to blog as frequent as I can and my life will go on.  I am neither unhappy nor sad.  I just am.  I wonder, is that a great place to be?

Oh Bother!