If there is one thing I've tried NOT to do is blog when I'm down, or upset or afraid. It usually comes out as poor pitiful soul and I don't like that part of me. Not that I can't embrace it..but it's trash when it get put in black and white. However, I will say this much about those times; I have learned and continue to learn from them. For instance - hang on, everything changes, you have to walk through fear, trying to avoid or ignore it does not make it go away. Besides, maybe your/my growth comes from the act itself not the fear. So on to the day, today. It's a hot, humid summer in the south. Miserable doesn't even begin to paint the picture. But, alas, summer will soon be a memory and I for one, do not want it to end. I am a water baby and always have been. This weekend we will venture once again to kayaking. My family member that is struggling even as we speak, to regain his footing will be our main concern. He is going through another rough patch. Marriage ending, finality of the door slamming. I know all too well that sense of complete aloneness that comes from the quietness of an empty house. He has asked me "how did you get through this"? Ha! Don't do what I did. I spent the next 4 years trying to regroup. Gain my spirit back. So... I have no solution other than.............. walk through the pain.
As people that hate to feel anything but good that is a problem. But masking what is going on internally only delays the inevitable. So why do we continue the fight?
An answer that I don't have. But life continues no matter what we feel at this moment. Sometimes the world can be cruel. It can turn us into nothingness in a matter of seconds. If I didn't have that presence to hold on to I wouldn't be here.
So I am no longer that leaf in the wind. How about you?
Oh man JJ, YOUR writing comes right from your heart with absolute truth as you also put words to paper. You too, have a fantastic gift to express your strength, courage, and determination that allows you to sail in mainly beautiful gentle winds on the ever flowing current in the sea of life.
ReplyDeleteBecause you know WE set the wind around us ~ starting with our attitudes, which moves us into action, and inaction. Yes, you and I know how the winds DO change, but it somehow seems that we're the ones (our attitudes) at the core of all winds.
Attitudes the choice we choose to change FIRST.
Healing follows only when we want it to really begin.
When I read your thoughts, my thoughts follow a similar course in my veins. Yes, it keeps us experiencing life, accepting and just working through whatever it is our spirits need to feel to heal. When we allow our spirits to heal, something takes over to assist our further healing on the path of gentle winds.
You have done some incredible "window washing" in your own "home". Hey, no one really enjoys the job, but it's the only thing that's gonna allow our bodies to heal themselves as this great higher power intends. Yea, lets rock girl!
Love ya, LL