I decided to tackle going to school. Or is it back to school? Ok, back. Back as in 37 years later. oh my, 17 when I graduated. I'll be 54 this month. Now, I was well aware that as I've aged (and boy have I) my ability to retain information has decreased considerably. strike 1. I have always had an attention problem. strike 2. I am working during the day and going to school at night. strike 3. The homework alone takes up most if not all of my spare time. strike strike strike! I have squandered many hours since my divorce just doing as I pleased. running hither and yon (ever wonder where that came from?) stay up late or go to bed early. Go to the gym or stay in bed. lounge around on saturday or swim in the pool. Alabama football or oh hell no. this can't take the place of my crimson tider's.
Ok, back on track. I take my first test tonight. Math. (M) aybe (A) ge and (T) ime have (H)elped.........
Well fact is....... I've forgotten everything.
Now where was I going with this......... Oh yeah is this worth it? I am in recovery. My entire life was spent either running away or hiding away from anything that made me uncomfortable. It's my nature. Well some time ago I found that became too much of a bad thing. So, facing reality head on is something I'm new at. Might I add....... still not the best at. But I'm trying. And then this. It has, in 3 weeks 3 WEEKS driven me to hate everything a little at a time.
Big ball of angst. You get the point right? And not the point that broke off my #2 pencil this morning after days of scribbling. You think I'm funny, no? It's all true. And I've got the pictures to prove that even my housemates are trying to get my attention.......... to them silence is not golden. I must make some changes. But what? Where?
To be continued:
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| Hey Mom could ya give a guy some lovin' |
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