Listen Closely

Listen to what you are saying to yourself.  Are you kind?  Gentle?  Loving?  Negative, judgmental?  Self-talk can be so damaging when it is all negative.  So listen….

When someone hurts me and I am unsure of why, or when there is conflict with another human being using kinder thoughts to work through the issue is huge.  Ok, I was hurt by someone, felt betrayed but had little facts to go by.  My first thought was, damn them.  However, with the limited information I had, I was going by my negative emotion resulting in a less than desirable thought process.  Putting on the brakes and redirecting to something kinder truly takes some of the strength out of the punch.

If it is a learned behavior (and they all are) then it can be unlearned or relearned in a different fashion.  Truly difficult but totally do-able.  The affect will also reduce the angst until all the information is received.  In the meantime, time wasn’t wasted on fear, anger, worry ……

That in itself brings a smile to my face.

Something else to add to that ‘bag of tricks’ was told to me over and over and over last summer… although I was unable in the midst of that crap to fully utilize this concept.

When I was full of self-doubt, act as if I was a woman full of confidence… no one on the outside knows anyway.  Totally self-soothing.  Fill in the ‘blank’ with anything that troubles us/you.

If you have lived as long as I and used negative energy all the time…. Begin with this kinder self-talk.   Borrowing from a great movie, ‘you is smart, you is kind, you is important’.  Any age, anytime… try this on for size…

If life doesn’t already throw a mess of stuff our way the last thing we need or should want is the critic inside us to come out screaming, ‘you dumb ass’.  Right?