Memories (good and new)

I tried to re-write the ending of part of my story for years.  Perhaps, if the ending was different, I would be too.  What I realized later was the ending was being relived therefor-rewritten.  That ending has a better one now.  Because we don’t realize that while we are walking through the pain of a breakup, the loss of a loved one, the end of a job, whatever the case may be…our ending keeps going.  Evolving….

Intentionally changing a memory can take the sting out of some things, I suppose.  I am of the mindset it can’t hurt to try.  I am also in a place that recognizes that a memory can change all on its own if enough time is allowed.  But, who wants to ‘wait out’ a painful ending?  And who, in the best of times, doesn’t relive a precious memory at that?!

In the process of changing some old memories I took a trip with my sister to the lake this past weekend.  Now, 2 woman alone with fire, tent, cooking and cold weather can be a treat to watch (I’m sure).  It was fun, funny and laughter filled the air more than once.  I was not sad going there, this was to create something new to offset something sad.  Will it work?  I guess.  There were a few moments that I just sat and cried at the beauty of the water and the memory of someone I had shared that with.  I’m good and those days at the lake will be good memories for years to come.  We probably looked more like Lucy and Ethel than we realized.  Neither of us took off our gloves, boots, toboggan…. During the whole time.  The daytime temps ran about 50ish, the night air was in the high 30’s.  The wind stayed about 10mph but it never let up long enough for the warmth of the sun to be good to us.

So, the time was well spent; next summer when we begin our camping season again perhaps the sting of hurt will have diminished somewhat and that which is left will be spread thin by the few days we trekked around the campgrounds.