I am jubilant! Just recently I have been addressing some much needed areas of my life. Personal in nature but I am certain I am not alone. Oh the pain of uncovering the who of our lives. However, the joy comes in small pieces. In learning (yes, learning) how to let my guard down (trust), listen to my heart and allow that omnipotent power flow through, I am in a growth pattern. I feel so much hope today where yesterday I felt sadness. Sadness to speak my truth to someone whom I have loved for a long time. To allow MYSELF to be important enough to ME to speak up and say........... I'm done. Oh the compromises I have made all for a manipulative woman to get what she thought she wanted. I am learning not to compromise (as much). I can say (for me) relationships have always been hard. Hard at truly connecting although I never realized that till recently. The walls were just too high and too thick. In learning to love who I am RIGHT at this moment gives me the joy and freedom of acceptance and the desire not to compromise when it comes to the "man woman thing". I hope that makes sense to any woman struggling with the same issue.
I had a sponsor a few years back that told me over and over and over to trust my instincts. To trust my inner self. Although I thought I was/had, the truth (my truth) is before me once again and it shows a different story.
I am climbing another mountain of uncertainty. I am starting school next week. Yup at 53 I am taking that leap. Am I afraid? NO. Apprehensive, yes! I bought 3 books today that totaled $300.00. Tuition is almost $1,000 just for 2 classes. I'm going at night which means giving up my freedom to roam wherever I choose on Monday's and Wed. but it will be good. Perhaps some scheduling changes will occur with meetings and working out. But I will address that as I need too.
Leaving behind who I was and accepting where I am right here, right now is exciting!
Join me on my journey which will be shared in this blog.
Wow, again I thank you for my "morning paper". To hear you say you're in a "growth pattern" is, to me, the most humbling place to be, one of the most satisfying, and rewarding. Keep goin' JJ, you're an inspiration to us all.
ReplyDeleteCan't wait to hear how school is and what you're learning. Another big commitment huh ~ Balance baby, balance. To keep our life balanced in the now is what it's all about. Sounds easy, but you and I know it ain't!