Purpose......

We all need a purpose.  I heard someone say that until we find our true reason/calling/purpose nothing fulfills us.  We (I) can and have spent hours struggling to find happiness in some’thing’ only to find it fleeting at best.  No preaching here, no condemnation just pure revelation.  So… how do we find that purpose?

In listening to Rick Warren he is clear on this subject; it is a God deal.  We open ourselves up to the ideas of Him and allow his grace to move us in that direction.  So, that could mean many things.  I have spent years trying to figure that out too; only to find the happiness still eludes me. 

I found what appeared to be happiness for a short time last year in a relationship.  Unfortunately when that ended I was lost and hurt and the seeking continued.  Being stuck in a place of questioning is not a pleasant place to be.  The question has grown or changed from why?  To what now?

I believe God has a purpose for all of us.  Maybe, for me, it is the here and now.  The present… the awareness of this moment.  That I am ok.  In fact I know I am.  All my needs are being met.  When I look outwardly things are good.  Inside I am still uncertain of why I am here.  (purpose).

There are many avenues in this area.  Giving to the community I am a part of gives me great joy and at that moment a purpose.  To help someone else… bingo!  But, for me, I find that still only fills the moment and I silently sit and wonder..   what am I here for?

Until that question is answered I suppose we just keep moving forward.  Understanding people, places and things are not meant to fill that hole.  That God size hole. 

To add to this…. Is a mind that never shuts off.  One that truly isn’t my best friend.  I wonder if anyone can relate to that?  The noise (if you will) inside never tells me the truth.  It sounds like this:  you don’t matter, he never loved you, you are stupid, you are fat, you don’t matter, your problems are insignificant to others……  I take a deep breath ….

 

In a moment all can change….. and it does……………….if only for a moment...