Hello Life..

Hello life.  It’s good to have you back again.  J  Happy days are here again.  J  Let the sunshine… Let the sun shine in the sun shine in…J

I’m breathing today.  Perhaps a tad hopeful, perhaps.  Lord that is a miracle in itself.

I am actually excited to be going on a road trip all by MYSELF!  I have never done that.  My trips have always been with girlfriends or men. (ugh).  I am leaving next week and driving to Gatlinburg TN to stay a few days with an old friend.    I need a break from here.  Not that I’m not ok, because I am… just a change of scenery.  A few laughs maybe a hike to Clingmans Dome.  All of this makes me smile.  After my divorce in 2004 I went there with my sister for a few days.  It snowed; we laughed, romped around and just had a great time.  The leaves won’t be changing yet but the green will be just as nice.  I have actually thought about camping (not this trip) but going alone somewhere.  I have talked about this before but I have never put any serious plan in place.  That is on my bucket list, silly as that may sound.  You see, for me, I am comfortable being alone but enjoy company if it is the right kind.  (wink, wink).  But there is something so calming to me to sit around a campfire, enjoying coffee and then rolling into a sleeping bag… drifting off as the night sounds encompass sweet dreams.  I can do this…. And will … soon.

I sound better.  I am smiling.  The outsides feel better, not all slumped over and teary.  Halleluja !  Do I miss him?  Not the him I saw over the past 4 months.  NOT AT ALL.  Just out of curiosity I went back over some ponderings during the past 6 months.  Certainly telling of where I was, where he wasn’t and how that all changed so quickly.  Never, never, never give your spirit away… NEVER!

A person blasted me the other day about how I was not true to myself and that I had portrayed myself differently and they were disappointed in what I had not been able to accomplish during those miserable months.  Mainly, I suppose, was getting my act together and letting that go.  Well, that is partially true.  But I held on for hope that things would work out.   I see nothing superficial in that.  Nothing pushing against the grain of wisdom they thought I had shared with them.  Only a wonderful woman, who in spite of what they thought, was happy, for a moment…. In Camelot….

So, I heard something the other day that talked about not looking for Mr Right, but allowing God to make us who our authentic selves are supposed to be (what HE made us to be) That is the quest.  So, instead of a love story, make it a life story.  See God never leaves us.  That can’t be said for humans. 

The flow of life continues.