Heartfelt

I never wanted to be here, never again.

I swore off relationships that eventually only end.

But some time ago you walked into my life

Sad, but healing from the death of your wife.

 

I believe the connection took time to grow

But our time together was intense, as you know.

I would lay there in awe of the tenderness of your touch

Loving how it felt and wanting it so much.

 

Forgetting the obvious that both of us were still on the mend

Enjoying our time for hours on end

At times as I listened to stories you would tell

Of your life before Jackie and how it was so well.

 

Of course, I told myself, how incredibly hard it had to have been

Losing a love that was perfect from beginning to end.

I almost stepped back more times than I let on

Although in my spirit I had hoped I would grow upon..

 

In many ways we seem content, enjoying the hours together,

Lazing by the pool, camping, road trips… in all kinds of weather

But somewhere along the days spent with each other,

I began to feel and want something that seemed only to smother

Without knowing, I was totally blindsided by a request of time less spent

And out the window my joy and serenity went

I spent an agonizing weekend full of fear, anger and hurt

At your choice of words that seemed harsh and curt.

 

I can’t express the pain I felt, the hurt was so great

At first all I could think of was surely I cannot wait.

For your ‘working through’ statement which sounded so final

I could not sit still, I could not be idle.

 

 

 

In the beginning I told you that God was first in my life

And somehow I had managed to pull from him causing some strife

So, as the hours passed on my knees I did fall

The one name I could summons - out to God I did call.

 

So, Steve, please know that I understand where you’re coming from

But I cannot read your mind, which was coming undone.

Communication is key in all relationships it seems

So please, please, let me know when you’re falling off the ‘beam’.

 

I want nothing but peace in your heart and mine

Walking away at that cost would be anything but fine

However, if the fun and enjoyment comes to the end

It would make the most sense to walk away, begin to mend.

I’ll end this on a positive note, all this writing is trying to say

Please know I am here, but won’t get in the way

Of your job, you’re healing or family you hold dear

I just want your company when time keeps you here.