Go back to school in the fall? Change jobs? Move? All of these are truly life changing events and I am looking at all 3 within the same time frame. Am I excited? Hmmm. Afraid? Yes. Afraid that I am not making good decisions. I can't stand the thought of moving again. I think I have addressed that here b4. Since my divorce I have moved 5 times. That is within 7.5 years. I want to get somewhere and stay put but buying a house is not going to happen this year.
School? Now this is a scary proposition. I want so badly to have marketable skills beyond what I have now. I want back in the private sector where I would be given more opportunities and training to better myself. But where to begin. If school were free (grant) this would not be a big deal. But it's not. It's 100% on me. That terrifies me.
That ties into the job thing. So............ what to do?
Asking for guidance from God is where I begin. But when the noise gets too loud I get scared I won't do the right thing. I had a sponsor tell me many times (several years ago) so what if you make the wrong choice. Nothing is etched in stone. My fear is it will set me back into financial worry (more so than now).
So........ Pondering my life choices will wear me out.
You ask why move? Well my lease is up in Oct (end of Sept). after 5 years here (2 of which have been in the 2 bedroom I'm in now) I want a house or rather a condo (they have pools). that is do able. I pay my car off soon and that is another motivator. I long for a place of my own that I can paint if I want, plant flowers, decorate to my hearts (and purse) content.
Today none of this has to be decided. So I will walk with confidence that God is guiding me. I will hold my head up without fear the job will suck me dry. I will ask for help w/ the relationship I can't walk away from.
Can God change all this? Yes. Will I let Him? Jeez I'll try.
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