Blessings...........

I have spent too many years crying over my life.  Too many wasted days.  A few years ago I began a trek of unwinding my entanglement of a relationship.  It hurt; I was afraid, really afraid.  Being without him crippled my life.  Crippled my growth beyond that life. 

So, we slowly detached.  Occasional dinner.  I will always love him.  The best years of ‘that’ life are over.  The best is yet to come is my motto.  Now!  Let it!

So, for years I have begged God to bring someone in my life that wanted to be there.  Someone that put God first, knew his blessings and would love, love, love me.  And!  Never leave me.  Hmmm.

So, the dating was sporadic.  Emotional.  Trying.  Defeated at times.  Running away at others.  Looking back I chuckle at all of it.  Yeah, but in the throes of all that stuff, I wasn’t always at ease…

So, over the past year I prayed continually, ‘God, please send someone my way’.  Yet nothing.  No one.

I finally said, ‘ok, help me to be ok single.  Help me to love those around me and make this life, my life’. After all it truly is complete.   Isn’t it in the way WE view it anyway?

Last month I gave it one last shot.. I met a guy for coffee.  That was it.  COFFEE and I’m going home.   1 hour, nothing more.  I mean it!  And so it goes.

I walked in.  Tall good looking guy.  I melted.  His first words were, ‘well that’s a good sign, you didn’t turn and run’…  We spent a few hours drinking coffee and getting acquainted.  I listened intently.  I totally forgot my 1 hour timeline.  I finally asked, ‘you ready to go?’  he said no.  So we headed out to dinner.  More conversation.  After which I asked again, ‘you ready to go”?  No.  So we walked around in the freezing night air and just couldn’t stop laughing and talking and well, smiling.  I was really enjoying him.  It got funny from there since he again said NO when I asked if he was ready to go home.  So, more coffee and ….. I was worn out.  Blissfully worn out. 

We have been inseparable ever since.  Not in a clingy kind of way.  Just in a sincere, polite way, enjoying each other. 

My post is not about ‘yeah me’.  My post is to myself saying, letting go was the beginning of something different. 

Now, maybe this is just a moment in time for me (and him).  Maybe.  I have no expectations of anything beyond right here, right now. 

But, I will shout out to God,  THANK YOU for never giving up on me even when I had given up on myself.