Keep on trying...........

What if YOU didn't believe in GOD?  That is the question.  An old sponsee called today.  The ravages of this disease were tormenting her.  She has bounced in and out, in and out.  Well, today she was going on and on......... I can't stay sober.  I don't know why.  She is currently sporting a broken hand, swollen foot, was raped turning tricks for $$ to get high, living in a crack house w/ several others AND her child.  Got fired from her job (really).  I mean it's a mess.  Well yeah.   That is what happens in our addiction.  It's bad.  Well I listened to her excuses, her blaming, her tales of woe.  I prayed, God please help me to be kind.  Help me to give her a solution.  Well nothing came.  Finally I said, "what is it you called me for?"  that i know how to stay sober but what exactly did she want from me?!  I figured it was cash.  But after beating around the bush I got tired and said, Hey, do yourself and your kid a favor.  Get sober or you WILL die.  It's simple.   But the hardest thing I have ever done (well except, you know,  the d-i-v-o-r-c-e.
Well she said how can I get sober when I do not believe there is a God?  I wanted to throw up.  Hmm if our program is designed to bring you into a relationship w/ Him then get busy working the steps.  Finally, after 15 or 20 minutes, I told her to get to a meeting.  Then I hung up.
She feels like hell, I'm sure she looks like it too.  All before she is 30.  Tragic!
So, I began my journey with little understanding  or belief that He would help me.  Slowly I tested the water.  Slowly I began to make a daily stop over to talk to Him, read things that will help.  Pray even when I "felt" it was doing no good.  Stay the course even when I felt distracted, distraught and disalusioned.  What's the saying, When your in Hell keep walking.  The wise ole owl told me that years ago and I use it to this day.  Listen sober living is worth it.  Otherwise we wouldn't stay.  Getting sober sucks.  And relapse after relapse and it gets harder to get sober.  I know. 
So please, no matter your age, your circumstances  IF you want to get sober.................... get to a meeting everyday.  More if necessary.  Get a sponsor, read and I mean READ the big book.  work the steps.  And the most important  DON'T DRINK.  No matter what.