Freedom

I sit at my desk this afternoon and listen to the pounding of the thunder and the wash of the rain.  Much needed might I add.   I thought of this analogy.  My life (yours too?) has been washed too.  I mean of all the yuck that once encompassed it.  It takes someone elses misery for me to stop and remember how horrible living in that hell was.
That was then............... 
I have choices today.  I pay my bills today.  I live in a fairly nice apartment (for now).  I have  a job that pays better than any job I've ever had.  A career that I never picked but got put in front of me.  Respect.  I have respect of my peers, my family.  I don't demand it but I sure as heck walk away from you if you don't respect me as a person.  I just paid for a car that I got right after getting sober in 2006.  It's mine, all mine.  I have nevr been responsible for anything in my life.  Never wanted to.  I had 'him' to do that.  And 'him' turned into "them" 3x's over.  I suppose the first 2 were just training ground, but shshshshs don't tell them.
I married the first guy I met that would buy me liquer at 17.  Can you imagine?  He never even questioned it.  Hmmm.  We stayed together 5 years.  But in those years I had 2 great kids.  That is the only good thing that came of that union.  "him" #2 was a good looking cowboy I met in a bar (do you see the pattern here?)
I fell for him so quick.  I have since learned that all I really did was jumped into a relationship that would steer me away from ME.  That "him" ended after a brief 2 years. Thank GOD!
Him # 3 was it.  I have blogged about him many times.  But honestly I would melt every time I was near him.  That never stopped in the 14 years we were together. 
Unfortunately time goes on and people don't always stay.  We change and sometimes that doesn't mean for the good.  And down my spiral went.  Again, Thank God I found a way out.
I don't even think of drinking most weeks.  Unless something truly stressful happens and then it crosses my mind but never to the extent that I take that first drink.  I know where that leads and it ain't pretty!
Breathing Lessons............  That's what all this is about.  Learning to take that precious breath (inhale) we need, and not allow life to knock me around (exhale) ahhh.