It can happen to you

So I had knee surgery.   1 week later I picked up my 4 year medallion.  I had hardly touched the pain meds.  They truly made me sick.  One week later I went for a 1st appt. from the surgery and told the doc I could not control the pain w/ the meds he had given me.  a qtr of a pill here and a 1/2 there, just to hold down on the nausea.  He proceeded to write 2 prescriptions.   1 of which i had relapsed on 4 years earlier.  You think i said no?  Of course not.  It would be different this time.   Yeah right.  I did good until they were gone.  Then I was at a friends house and he had a bottle on his table.  You know what I did.  I ended up taking 3 or 4 (i really do not remember) and then a few more later.   Is that a relapse,  you betcha.  I was the man in the big book who slams his fist on the bar wondering how did he get there.  I truly did not have any defense.  I hung my head in shame.  But you know what?  If one person can learn (besides me) from my experience, then so be it.  I have also learned that the 24 hour window we talk about is really more important.  I say that not because I relapsed cause all I lost (besides my mind for about a week) was my sobriety date.  I have not lost but rather have gained some insight.  What is that worth?  Stop counting your "medallions" and start living in the now.  Right here!  It feels good to be alive  and clean and sober.  But for the grace of God.