I suppose this never ends. After 5 years of sober living I found that I was getting increasingly depressed. Just could not put my finger on "it". I Started seeking professional help. She pegged me right away. It's called ACOA - Adult Children of Alcoholics. Wow.
I had bounced in and out of Alanon gripping the whole time. I hated it and could not see the benefit. Besides, don't we have a program of self discovery? So, here I am, again. ACOA. I had heard about it some years ago. But frankly, I did not want to associate who I am today with how I was raised. What could that have to do w/ my personality, my ability to handle things like relationships. Personal and work related. HUH?
It is being addressed a small parts that I am not to blame (up to this point) of the choices & mistakes made with life. Relationships. Marriage(s).
I had not been shown healthy relationships. I "learned" how to react instead of how to cope. Survival skills. Nothing more.
How sad is that? AND another discovery long after the age of 50. Waaah I want my mama. No wait that is how this thing started. And not a blame game. A path that will teach me new coping skills. So this should certainly open new wounds. But I am ready for more. More healing. Perhaps showing me and certainly teaching me why and how I have forged to this point.
I will continue to blog my successes and discoveries. I do this for me and hopefully if you have found this blog perhaps you too will find peace in your life.
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