HE picked me up........

In my "other life" I hated to hear the birds chirping so happily in the morning.  It was sign that my darkness was coming undone and people would expect me to be where I was supposed to be.  Not holed up in a lonely apartment wishing for a different life but not having the ability to change the one I had.

All that has changed.  The God that I so thought hated me for all that I had done has picked me up and set my course right.  And the birds rejoice with me.  I am in awe! 

What can I say of this new life?  I have a program that has taught, and continues to teach me how to live.  Live with you and with me.  I am filled with so much gratitude this morning.  Its a warm spring day.  Ahhh. Breathing in the air that He gives.

If I sound silly, so what.  I shall not apologize for a good morning.  A morning that  will be followed by more mornings.  Ones that no longer have to be filled with fear and self loathing.  To stand up straight and know that I am enough. 

This is such a process.  At times I can still slide back into fear.  Fear of what you will think of me.  Fear of him not wanting to see me. Fear of children living the same life I ran from.  Fear, Fear, Fear.  But God!  But God.  But God pulled me out of that awful abyss.  I see more clearly now that my cries for help were heard.  And I'm told he knew what I was going to say even before I did.  How powerful is that?

Now, how do I share that kind of love?  How do I show the people in my life how big of a difference this has made to me.  Can they, do they see it already?  Is the skeptical side of them telling them, yeah but?!

That was me for so long.  First not knowing the problem, then not being able to do anything about that.  Finally finding a God so powerfully loving through the fellowship of AA.  Wow.

And my journey continues as my smile broadens.