House Hunting...

House hunting.  How fun…..sort of.  I mean I’m not in a hurry, I want the best for my buck (doesn’t everyone?).  I have a list of desires:

Close to where I live now

Fenced backyard

Updated kitchen

Treed lot (if possible)

Keep the cost at $........

I love having options and choices.  I think I have looked at our online listings daily for weeks.  New construction seems likely and how cool is that?  Me…. A homeowner.   Wow God I never saw that coming.

So, while things with M have not changed and I have not seen Tripster, I continue to pray for restoration.  My God is an awesome God.  He knows what I need before I do.  He is working in this and I believe in my heart that resolution is coming.  I pray and wait.

It’s the middle of the summer and already kids are thinking about school.  YUCK!  I want more time with the kids.  I am planning on something next weekend and hopefully it works out.  There is an amusement park that I’d like to take them to for the day.  It is a few hours away and we went 4 or so years ago.  I enjoyed it and if they want to go then we will go.  I hate for summer vacation to end and there not be one thing to report to the other kids as to ‘what did you do this summer’… saying nothing hurts my heart for them.  I wanted to rent another boat for the afternoon but looks like  my daughter is not interested. 

Dare I share this….. I’m happy.  At least happier than the past 8 months.  God knows I struggled daily and things got bad, better, worse, better, awful, better…. Up and down. Up and down.  I do suffer from bi-polar and without meds I go south quickly. 

I really never thought much of that diagnosis until this go around.  It did not help that I ‘thought’ I did not need any meds anymore (that was in March).  By the time the flare up with M happened I was already on my way to a full crash….. Did I mention God?  Did I tell you that I am a miracle?  See I almost left this world.  Something pulled at me so tight that it scared me.  I would not hurt anyone that I love… not intentionally.  Mental illness doesn’t share that same mentality.  Just like the disease of Alcoholism, is just does not care who it takes out….

But, today I’m good.  I’m living one day at a time and laughter has returned to my spirit.  Thank you God!