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Allowing the flow not to consume me!

Thursday, July 9, 2015

Life can hurt

Life can hurt.  I hurt.  Does it matter why?  HOw?  Does it matter what the facts are?  No.  Hurt is hurt.  I am in the process of a detachment from a relationship that has been so powerful, joyful and most of all, I thought  A God Thing.... How could I have been so wrong?  Or was I?  Was I ready for a relationship and he wasn't?  These are questions that may never be answered.  I hurt, i'm angry, just reeling from a 'what happened?'

So, my posts may stop until I can manage to post family, life without him and healing.  i'm afraid that anything too soon may end up sounding beyond sad.

On a different note.  I celebrated another milestone in my recovery.  After the blip after my 4 year bday, I began again and on the 7th I picked up my 4th and prayerfully my last 4 year medallion.  I'm grateful that the relapse (pain meds not drinking) after knee surgery was quick and I was able to see the writing on the wall.  For that I am extremely grateful.

It's July, hot and no sign of rain.  I can't help but think about Steve and all the mini trips we took.  I truly am devastated. 

1 comment:

  1. You attracted all your inner&outter good; continuing to do it right is patience grasshoppa' ~ miracles of faith are certainly lovely aren't they. Your heart holds your joys and your mind holds your image of joy ~ just keep being your strong&beautiful self ~ XOOOX :-)

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