I am having such a roller coaster ride here it’s almost
miserable. Let’s face it; don’t we all
want to be riding high? I know I do, but
what goes up must come down…. Right? So….
The new man in my life…. I keep saying he is a good guy and he is. But there are some small points to
ponder. Nothing huge but certainly
brings up some old wounds. We are
working through some of it and hopefully we both will continue to be willing…
I, on the other hand, have gone from swooning to sobbing a few
times. Learning a new person is uncomfortable
at times. We went from 1st
date, to, today without stopping….. Seems there could be some signs we both are
overlooking. {could be}
He has shot it straight from the beginning and I am amazed
at how quickly we jelled. While I keep
believing we entered each other’s life at the right time…… there is still that
getting to know someone that is trying at times all the while being full of
excitement. So, what could possibly be
the problem? Well to begin with… I am
high strung and emotion driven. He is
laid back and facts oriented. So
emotion-less that at times I wish he would show something….. but he remains the
same….
So I’m learning what he likes, what he doesn’t like. That what he says, he means. What he wants he gets and that he can be as
kind as the day is long….. A few times I have gotten my feelings hurt over some
jab but its never mean spirited… just me…. Wearing my feelings on my shirt..
So, there are some confusing signals from his end but I wait
it out or talk it out. So far….. so good……
The confusion beyond this is “R”. he keeps trying. I see so plain how he has managed to keep me
around for the past 10 years and I am sure someone would think the same
too. Today as I was telling him bye in his car… oh
wait… I forgot to mention he asked me to go to lunch…. He was coming by anyway
but lunch made sense… to him. I was
fearful but went anyway… of course he was kind and good conversation about
family…. Thinking about it now almost makes me sad. That somehow, I still need that connection…. I
know life is so about the experiences we have and how we choose to let them mold
us and 22 years with the same partner truly makes one hell ova ride. Up, down, happy, sad……. I’ve reached a place
of acceptance with just a little sadness…. I told him today that I pray for him
to find a nice person to love. He
shocked me by telling me that he is thinking about going on one of ‘those
dating sites’…. How cute…
So …. No mass confusion but certainly could be confused by
all the rumblings in my head…
In the end….. ‘s’ takes me home…
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