In this road of life...

Find the light no matter how dark it seems at the moment.

I had someone close to me tell me that she can tell by my blog how I am doing emotionally.  That when I don’t post she feels life must be going well.  In plain terms, she is right.

Today, life is good and I’m posting that.  I’m also going to add that life is scary too.

I took a bold stance this morning with someone in my life.  Bold and truthful; said with confidence and a strength that passed my own understanding.  For a minute it felt good.  However, in doing so it meant the recipient might retaliate and he did… for a moment.  It seemed it caught him off guard and I listened as he quickly regrouped and came back with resolve to acceptance.   As I relive that moment I am in awe of his process and how quickly he snapped back; in doing so I was able to continue with the obvious truth of the situation which had been ongoing.  That was early this morning.

As the morning stretched on, I was entertaining all sorts of possibilities.. where would this lead me (this new journey).  Who would I lean on?  What if……………….

I said to God………… (instead of crying to stop the pain and angst) well here we are, help me walk with grace and truth and strength.  I took several turns at praying that I relax.  Several stops at ‘don’t let me pour my anger and fear on anyone’ as I digest and swallow the cold hard facts.  If this is covered in some sort of secrecy that is intentional.  Surely we all have those feelings, those days, those moments……. Where do we let them take us?

I am holding on to the FACT that He will never leave me………… I can curl up in the knowledge that I am being led in my life in such a sweet way…. Acknowledging that somehow brings me solace.  Somehow.

I sat around last night with 3 of my girlfriends chatting up about men, dating and the whole scene.  How the ‘dance’ is awkward and painfully necessary and both parties (male and female) partake of their piece.  Interview if you will, if it be a first date.  I, for one, am not good at that and come to find out none of them either.  Hmmm.  Feeling connected in any situation to someone that has or is walking through the same scene… somehow wards off any feeling of aloneness.  I suppose that is a gift we all bring to the table.  The table of life…  Agree?