Life...... never ending.

Life just keeps showing up.  It is how we chose to ride it out that defines our days, weeks……

People get sick.  People die.  Facts.  Not that we have to like it, and unless you are heartless- you understand those circumstances hurt.  My precious children are in the middle of that season in their lives.  Their father has been diagnosed with cancer.  They did surgery yesterday to remove a section of his colon that included a tumor.  He will be in the hospital for about a week.  The continuation of his health is the cancer has already spread.  Lungs, liver, abdomen.  So sad.  My daughter said to me last night, ‘mom I’m not ready for this to be happening’.  We never are sweetie, never!   She springs to action so quickly all the while her poor emotions are building up until POW!  Secondly, my son, who has long had a pretty hard relationship with his dad, just sits stoically listening but saying nothing.  Denial, maybe.  Worst of all are the grandkids.  They adore their pawpaw.  Since they have come along his home has been a streaming of spend the nights, weekends, weeks.  Whatever he could do.  Amusement parks, movies, anything they wanted.  He is the sole provider of the big entertainment that goes on with them.

They will be devastated.  Not to mention they are so young.  I don’t want their lives to be marred by the sadness of this situation.    But, this is out of my control.  I will be here to pick up the pieces of scattered hearts.

So, let me bore you one more time.  Major meltdown over work, again.  The woman that steers me back to sanity pointed out a very important detail.  My boss is my boss.  NOT my friend.  Even if asked do not give any information out.  They don’t care.  Nor should I expect them too.  Now this isn’t all bosses.  I have had one of the/ scratched that; THE best I could ever hope for.  So, I have seen both ends of this spectrum.  So, my truths may not always come through clear enough for me to see… at that moment.   But when shown, I swallow hard and accept the facts.  I won’t bash the facts either, but rather move towards some kind of acceptance to be able to live resentment free…………… or close to it.

So, another breathing lesson for me.  And thank God I can see it and acknowledge it…………. 

So, right at this moment………….. this very moment………………. All my needs are being met……….  I must remember that……………