Break the generational di-ease!
I have written here many, many times about my man-child. Mr. M. He came into the program a little over a year ago and today he picks up his 1 year medallion. Not just picks up but has asked me to give it to him. In our circle that is a) huge milestone and b) an honor to give. I hope I can do it without blubbering.
I am so loving my dew digs. I walk in and just smile. I am realizing each day how much I felt that all the places I have occupied since 2005 have not once seemed like home. Maybe not my home, but my home all the same. Until now. Is it the roominess of it all? The space enough to allow myself and Mr. M room for quiet? Uh………… I am so fortunate.
Oh gosh I hate to repeat anything here. But sometimes I forget what I have written about. Since getting sober and truly asking God for help I see that all my needs have been met. That each move has given me something I needed at that time. The biggest proof was the apartment I occupied for most of my divorced life. See, I love trees. Being around the cool of the shade in the hot summer, listening to the rustle of leaves as they gently glide to the ground in fall, the birds, the squirrels, you got the picture, right? Well I had all of that, there. Yet moving there was pretty tough to accept back then. Oh and lets not forget the pool, which is one of the biggest draws for me.
Now, living in this new space albeit without the trees or a pool, I am completely happy. So, I guess this go around was for space…… Including a garage. I promise you that in all the “married” years I had houses, garages and even pools. But something was missing. Oh yeah ME. I was lost in ‘why, why me’. Misery became my closest companion.
Still can be, but right here, right now………… it’s good.
And tonight I will stand next to my man child and beam with such pride. Pride in the program, pride in him staying around. And pride in knowing that God could and would if he were sought!
Remember when we thought ‘proof’ was only a measurement?
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