Holidays and such

One week before Thanksgiving.  Am I truly thankful?  I believe I am.  Although I have a habit of focusing on the negative side.  I am working on that and know that I am better than I was.
Daughter cooks and what a spread.  I only have to contribute a few pies and bring myself.  AND they don't let me help clean up.  How much simpler and enjoyable can it be?  And this year for the first time in awhile the man child will be there.  Clean, sober and a part of.  My world seems complete.

Out of school all next week and when we come back we have 3 weeks and then finals.  I will get about a 3 week break.  I am already online checking out my spring semester classes.  See I do have renewed energy for this.  The negative side of me wants to say, 'yeah it won't last'.

Brother is living alone after his quickie divorce this summer.  I asked him to come eat with us.  He declined.  I hope he finds something to do.  I can't imagine being alone.  And really he has as big of a family as all of us do and if he chooses to be alone/stay alone then it is his choice.

I have in the past fixed a big plate of stuff for RJ.  He has a sister here but they do not see each other for Thanksgiving.  As a matter of fact, he will be alone.  His son lives in NC and they are not interested in connecting for the holidays.  How pitifully sad is that?

Speaking of 'him'.  We are going to Nashville in December for a few days.  My idea, his companionship and a great city to hang out in.  Should be (operative word being should) fun.  No expectations on my part.

Work is not good.  Still feeling very attacked.  Very put down.  I am searching hard and fast for employment else where.  Prayfully I hope that happens soon.  It is really hard for me to stand up to all this mean ness.  I lick my wounds like a dog cast aside and retreat into a cubed space that isn't a safe place at all.  I have to remind myself that others are sick too.  And unfortunately it is really taking a toll on me, work wise.

Sister in ICU again after a surgery yesterday.  Totally detached from her and her family.  Sadly enough that is her choice.  We sit back and watch or hear of her pieces falling apart.  From what I've been told she has lost an extreme amount of weight.  When asked why she responded with a lie.  So, life hasn't changed for her and the rest of us just sit by helpless.

  Enjoy this fall day.  Our leaves are falling fast!!!