Outside Help

Sometimes we require outside help.  Our book says so.  We don't have all the answers.  My emotions had gotten so out of wack that even if I knew the right thing to do or say the only thing that seemed to stay constant was tears and sadness.  I began to worry myself.  So, I finally made the call.   I had an assessment done.  Sounds like your depressed.  Really?  No shit!  Anyway I have so many childhood issues that the steps just couldn't erase.  So I have begun the dreaded "therapy" word.   First step was to see a doc.  She changed or added to my meds.  May take a few weeks to know if that is helping.  But when you scare you, you know it's bad. 
Other than that lets see;  met a guy and agreed to go to coffee w/ him.  however after talking to him on the phone for 40 minutes and listening to him beat on his chest I was disgusted.   I let him know today that I am no longer interested.  Coffee or otherwise.  Of course he called me earlier and asked if we could talk.   Uh, no.

Going to the Jr college again after work.  I have my classes picked out  for fall but my registration isn't complete.  It says there are things missing.  So, once again I will head out there to see what I need to do. 

Son had court today.  Got a 30 day suspended sentence and 1 yr probabtion.  oh and a fine.  Always a fine.  But this isn't the biggee.  He has a bad one that is still looming.  Good news is he is sober 30 days.  And actually he is fun to be around.  Good thing since he is my housemate for the time being.
Those steps really do change our lives, our thinking.  But being willing is the key.  Willing to try, to quit fighting, to be openminded.  To believe in a power much more powerful than any drug or drink.  That in itself is a huge deal.

I stay sober, one day at a time with Gods grace and mercy.  Grace being His power, not mine.