Watch and Wait-ing

While I want to be honest in this blog about things, sometimes just writing makes it too real.  Lately, maybe too sad.  But, life is just that… sad and real.   I always say… it just keep coming at ya. 

So in a few days my kids will have a ‘celebration of life’ for their dad.  I started to say ‘goodbye’ to their dad, but they did that before he died.  So, celebration seems so jovial.  Well maybe it is meant to be.

Not funny, but perhaps uplifting in that he certainly left his footprint on this earth.  Good or bad, he was part of the human race.  And they love(d) him.  Their days, nights will be drenched with every emotion I can only imagine.  But they will get through this.  We all will.

To try and ascertain they whys and why not’s of this passing would not make any difference, so here we sit.  I have cried with them, laughed with them, sat with them, listened to them………………….. and most of all loved them during this time (and any other for that matter).  But grief takes all forms and we can not lessen the pain, nor shorten the time it takes to stop it; but I am on standby. 

 

On a different note; I saw the movie, ‘Wild’ with Reese Witherspoon.. really an interesting movie.  I mean it was based on a book written by a woman that trekked 1,000 miles on the pacific coast trail alone.  Backpack and boots.  Took 3 months and the journey was healing in itself.  The loss of her mother, her marriage and the letting go of a life that was so broken.  So, her healing began with that first step…

But that got me wondering.  How awesome it would be (I think) to just go.  To just pack up and head out on a fantastic journey of healing and self-discovery.   Wow!  I just want that opportunity.  Maybe not a wilderness trek, but a freeing experience that says, ‘I am not going to answer to anyone’ that I am free to go and do without restraints.   I just wondered, perhaps not a 3 month journey but maybe a couple of weeks.  Maybe.  Just alone with me, the air that I need and the sound of wind, water and peace.  Ahhhh.

The end of this post says little of the world around me and work.  It continues to beat me down and each time I rise and hope that will keep me abreast for a while.  That movie hit me in the gut and perhaps Tom’s passing that what in the hell am I/we waiting on………. Make that change… today.  Step out on faith.  Find your/my passion and by God live it!

God…………… yes………….. let me run that past Him……….. He may have a different plan for me…… J