Quietness

I looked back at the last few posts.  It's been a few days.  I could feel the anger oozing out of me and on to the page.  YUCK.
Thank God I have had some good days since.  Good as far as work goes.  Somedays I still feel the iritation, but it's better.  I'm better.
I got a call from a sponsee the other day.  She was pitifully upset over a work matter.  I could feel her sense of urgency to be relieved of her hurt and anger.  Wow did that bring me back.  I urged her to get to the next available meeting.  We talked later about what really happened (internally).  We are such emotional creatures.  I believe that gets better but does it ever go away?  I mean am I asking God to change who he made me to be?  I know that sober I am an intelligent woman.  I am caring and love helping people.  But give me a day where it's all uphill and I will swear none of this is worth it.  And then I hit my knees and get re-connected. 
Son had to go again.  Stole computer and father's dulcimer (which to me and my family can not be replaced).  I got the items back after getting the pawn tickets from him.  I have only seen him a few times since then (which is probably 3 weeks now).  I know he is living on the streets.  It breaks my heart.  I pray for him to find peace.  To sober up.  Sometimes I wonder how he keeps going w/ nothing to live for.  I have given him to God, for his peace and mine.
The relationship is still on.  I can not put into words how I feel about it anymore.  It changes.  I know that lately I can feel the pull to stop.  A God thing totally.  But I still yearn for a person to love.  A relationship like what we HAD.  IF I truly had enough faith wouldn't I allow God to direct me in all my affairs (no pun intended). 
God is awesome.  I feel His presence so often.  I am in awe when I allow my spirit to be guided.

Another sober, useful day.