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Allowing the flow not to consume me!

Friday, September 23, 2011

When to tell it all

I recently went through (if you read this you know) a really tough time.  During that time I tried to keep up w/ my sponsee's to the best of my ability.  I felt like what I was going through was not to be discussed w/ them.  You know, they come to me (or us) for direction, help, etc.  Not to hear me whine.  Well a friend in the program with almost 30 years sober, told me that is wrong.  We are human and fallible.  We get sick, some of us drink again.  And I had no business not being honest w/ them.  I realized what she said made sense.  Why would I want anyone to think I'm "fine".  If I'm not. 
So, through this all I have lost a sponsee but my other 2 stayed.  They are so precious to me.  More friendships have come of this whole "will you help me" mode than anything. 
I still have 2 weeks till I can chair meetings again.  Going by our strict code of 90 days sober (yes, the old white chip for a few pain pills still haunts me).  I will feel a part of once again.
Staying sober is not a chore, it's a gift. 
Thank you God for keeping me sober (yes KEEPING me).  I co-operate and look what happens.   Amazing!

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