Speaking at meetings has always come easily for me. Why wouldn't it? I'm a egotistical recovering person. Well at times that comes across louder than others. Is all that I share ego driven? I hope not. I hope that I am not speaking to hear myself, but rather to help another.
Being the 'speaker" at a meeting is something entirely different. It's hard and uncomfortable if for only a few minutes. I experienced that this weekend. Speaking at a small group where I had never been before. And no one seemed to even be paying attention. That made me feel like what I was saying wasn't important to anyone there. I kept focusing on "the primary purpose" during the talk. No head nods, no smiles. What was going on there? Was anyone happy to be sober AND at a meeting? Just didn't seem so. Afterwards a few members came up and thanked me for being there. But what I realized is the only ones that did were long term sobriety. I have no idea about the rest. I took it to heart at first and then found the answer inside of me. I was there to carry a message. How they receive it is none of my busines.. Who knows maybe someone woke up Sunday morning happy to be alive and sober and remembered something I shared?!
If not I can say that I stayed sober and had a good time doing so.
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