Crazy!
Anger is ruling my spirit these days. Anger with people that I normally wouldn’t
give them a small second of my time. But
let them turn the tables and bam! I am
angry that I am being treated like a no body.
Imagine. I, I, I. Shut the h up!
Last night I heard so much in a bible study I am in. This morning as I did a chapter and also read
some meditations, It really hit me hard how the anger is making choices for
me. Choices. Like when drugs did that. When relationships did/do that. How does that happen? How can it be ok, then not, then ok again.
My answer? Because I am
looking outward again, and trying to fill that God size hole with ‘other’
things. Other than drugs and
alcohol. And believe me, anger is a
powerful tool. And when I am run by
anger, it bleeds into all areas of my life.
Hence, where I am. I was slowly
backing myself into a corner. And for
what? So, that I am not hurt
further? So that ‘they’ will see I am
hurt? MANIPULATION at it’s best.
No time to go further and no need. Word for the day. MANIPULATION> See I still can’t always see the truth. My truth.
Good grief.
Perhaps the realization will create change. Perhaps.
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