Whether we like it or not it's here. The holidays are gone. The winter months are in full swing and the limited sunlight makes the world seem bleak. But, it is not. It is truly how I view it that seems to make the biggest difference.
I had a small emotional breakdown New Years Eve. I let my head blow something totally out of wack and when I realized what was truly going on, to fix or change it felt like swimming up stream.
To tell you that I am still in this relationship (and it is whether he admits it or not) almost makes me cry. I am praying for divine intervention and then freaking if it 'feels' like that is happening. Totally screwed up and knowing it. How insane is that.
I believe as long as I am getting something out of this relationship I won't move. I come close and then fear pulls me back. So much fear.
School starts back in a few days. I will once again be consumed with that. I could or should be grateful for the distraction and I will.
The grandkids will probably come over this weekend as any other time for the next 4 months gets sketchy.
And the rental issue is coming up at the end of next month. Whoa! Way beyond today so I sit back and take a deep breath!
We are given a 24 hour period so that all that encompasses we can handle, address or pass it along to our God. And I can and do.
The one resolution (even that word makes me cringe) I will strive to keep is that I shall begin my day on my knees, and truly read (slowly) the new testimate. Sounds pretty simple huh? I will make a calendar note for 2 months from today to check my progress.
On to work.............. or rather back to work.
I don't do this as a rule but I want to show you two miracles:
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| Clean and sober and loving life! |
Re-reading this, and again wondering who the two people in the photo are. JJ, I assume you are the beautiful female. Is the male Michael? Congratulations and keep moving ahead. I hope things are good in your life. Always ~ LL
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