Can I give praise too?

I had a God moment this morning.  After that exhaustive rant yesterday that culmintated with a teary drive home, I was so tired of living the way I was.  this morning I got up fully rested.  I got out my meditation books and started reading.  During my prayer time I had this thought.  I am trying to change my circumstances to fit me.  Please God make coworker act right.  He treats me terribly.  Well here is what happened.  In my God time I heard this; why are you trying so hard to get him to like you?  You don't like him.  Yes, you are the spirited one that enjoys and thrives off of praise.  That of which is never handed out in this house of employment.  I have prayed to be happy.  I have prayed to accept.  you name it.  What hit me like a ton of bricks this morning was that IF I had everyone acting right that my self worth would still be lacking.  That if being good at my job is what fires me up then find a job that I can shine in.  I am not talking about jumping everytime I dont' like my job.  But this place sucks the life out of me.  I am a fish swimming upstream.  Exhausted and miserable.  It won't go on.  My plan will be to find employment elsewhere.  That is the start.  A mini 4th step showed me some interesting things:
1)  Not being noticed or enough is leftover childhood trauma.   I don't matter.
2)  Find my "matter" in helping others.  Not in tearing apart the people that hurt me. 
3)  I am living the problem if I don't look at myself.  HE won't change.  But I can.  I can ask for help w/ me attitude.  My direction.  I may not have complete love inside but I don't have to have hate.  I don't want to hate.  Hate is not God given.  So, today I am ok.  Even a little chiper.  I know I am a work in progress but I don't have to be a mess during my construction phase. 

I am going to see "him" tonight.  I broke down and called him and offered to come stay the weekend.  He is excited and I suppose I am too.  Whatever that means.  Whatever happens.  I will be ok.

God is awesome and I know life will work out. 

Staying sober is the most important part, next to God!