A turn in the right direction

Does not always "feel" good right away.  I have come through the hardest summer of my sober life and now all I want to do is move on.  Pain does incredible stuff to us.  After 4 years I had to pickup a white chip after having knee surgery and failing miserably w/ the meds.  Well right after that (and I mean RIGHT) afterwards, my teeth began acting horrible.  I have blogged about it so rehashing it would be dumb.  Anyway, finally after some weeks they completed all the extractions last Thursday.  I could not return to work until today.  I have lost about 12 pds and counting.  And all I can do is pray for the healing to come quickly.  Knowing my history with pain meds made this really hard.  I refused to do this without any help.  And I shouldn't.  I became accountable to sponsor and a sponsee.  I counted those damn pills daily.  I guess normal folks don't have to do that.  It has been 4 days and I still want to scream w/ the mouth sores.  But you know I have learned more about myself in the past weeks than in the past year.  I had stopped listening in meetings.  I knew it all and what I didn't know you couldn't teach me cause I trusted no one.  I took my issues to the few woman that understood and even then I had a hard time hearing.  Well, what I really was looking for was sympathy.  Well, ok.  That's normal, right?  Sure it is for a day or so.  I am even sick of me. 
So, whether this changes my smile or improves my facial appeal I really cant' tell.  I am still fighting the pain.  So, I am forcing myself to say positive things about the experience.  i.e. I'm on the tail end.   This too will pass.  Look how far I've come.  And the inevitable:  You will be able to use this to help someone one day. 
You see, for me, if I let myself get caught up in the misery, that is where I stay.  Today I choose not too.  I asked God this morning to help me with healing and patience.  It has been a long summer, but who is measuring?  Me?  that is a laugh cause it wasn't that long ago that I wouldn't have remembered crap about the summer.  Just one minute to the next looking for something to change the way I feel.