I was told that the program of Alcoholics Anonymous would give me the necessary 'tools' to live one day at a time without a drink. And it has. But it has given me much more. I continue to pull out of that tool kit what I can use daily to stay emotionally sober as well. See it really is not about the drinking today. But the thinking, well that is another story.
So, when something comes up (and it does) I fall back on what I've learned in this program. Fear (?) why. Anger (?) at whom?
The other night I was so upset at something that happened. When the dust settled and I reviewed why I was so affected it was interesting at best. The feeling of "I dont' matter" was at the forefront. Also, with that was the feeling of shame. Totally associated w/ the past cause what happened did not cause those feelings. They caused them to come back out.
After reviewing the whole incident, I was able to remain ok, and recognized God's grace in doing so.
Totally a gift of the program.
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