Happy Halloween

This day is for kids to run around happily collecting all the candy that they can.  I remember those days well and enjoyed them so much.  
You know if you have read my blog that I love talking about being sober.  Sober living and thinking.  Some days are rough and some are fantastic.  Today I want to blog about standing up to someone for wrong behavior.  Now, if this didn't affect me I would say this is not my concern.  It does. 
Small office setting and commission work should say it all.  I have noticed for sometime that my "quotes" have been redone by the co-worker and policies written that now have no sign of my name on them.  Well I kept shaking my head in disbelief,  even talked to him about it a time or two. Each time he ignored me and pretty much just shut me down.  I started making notes in files.  Where you could not ignore me.   Well it happened again and Friday I spoke up.  Now, that took an act of courage that I can not even tell you about.  I talked to our boss first and formost and he was shocked.  He advised me to talk to the co-worker.  Now also let me preface this by the fact that he is good at what we do.  Well he has over 10 years of experience to my 3.   That should be expected.  Their is a certain amount of arrogance that permiates the air here too.  And as my "ick" takes over it tells me I don't matter.  That of course he does this, he is better at it.  I need not go further.
So, 4:45pm on Friday I ask him about it.  I was not prepared for an arguement.  I was not prepared to defend anything about myself.  But that is what happened.  He jumped into me w/ both feet and refused to listen to anything I had to say.  I felt so defeted.  so wronged.  Why had I said anything anyway.
Fast forward to today.   I am not sorry I spoke up.  I'm sorry I didn't stand up taller.  When I was backed into the corner I stood my ground but felt like I was scrambling to defend every day I have been here ...
You could cut the air w/ a knife.  
Being sober and staying sober things just happen.  People offend us, we offend others.  We have a program that allows us to stay sober by keeping our side of the street clean.  And I tried.  I won't let this get so out of hand again.  Letting resentments build is like poison to us.  It did not good to me or the office.
So we live and learn.  We grow and digress.  We dont' drink and hopefully we get new days and other chances to be productive. 
God you know what's best for everyone.  I try to remember that.

Sober by grace!

Gratitude

Does that make you cringe?  Does it make you want to run or make your chest rise w/ a full heart?  Over the weekend I had an experience with a family member.  A much in the throws of the addiction member.  His wife had left him the night before.  Was drinking an issue? Probably.  But he started off by saying he had to quit, he needed to go back to church.  He needed to change.  RIGHT NOW!  So she would come home. 
I have been there.  I well remember those feeling of complete fear and shame and guilt and anger.....   But for me that was certainly the catylist of my beginning to want something different.  I pray it will be his. 
I did not talk program to him.  But listened to the pain in his voice.  We drink beyond human aid and then try with all we have to stop the problem.  When we don't have the necessary power.  But we don't know that.  I didn't.  I found out after being plunked in the middle of the AA program.
Is life better today?  Yes.  I have peace of mind.  I like myself so much more.  I can allow YOU to live like you need or want to. 
See I believe that stopping is just the beginning.  He may be about to experience that. 
Loving our family and friends during the deepest of dispair may be hard.  But I will never turn my back on anyone reaching out..