I wish I could say all that has happened in the years I've been gone. Hurt. Sadness. Joy. Contentment....
I really can not begin to fill in the gap without really scraping the deep places of my soul. And really I don't want to.
But I do want to tell the highlights..
Death
The death of my precious cat, Sabastian my 15.5 year old big orange boy that was my sober cat, my life after divorce cat, my new life cat. He listened to my sadness, my happiness, my tears that was necessary to cleanse my soul. So, he was sick and it all happened so quickly that I was caught of guard. Probably a good thing. I was knocked over and with that went my sober living and my sanity.
Enter my precious sister. She moved in with me right about the same time. I loved her being here. I live alone and she was a terrific roommate. She loved to cook and I hadn't had a good home cooked meal in years. We talked about everything . Almost a cleansing of our relationship without knowing it.
She left too. I found her dead on the floor. I'm still processing the grief and I suppose I will for awhile.
She was my best friend for years, years ago. Her last months were happy or so i choose to believe. She got sober and continued mostly until the end.
I still see her laying on the floor and I cry. I cry for all that is gone.. All that is lost. But she is out of pain and hopefully with mom and dad in a place we can only dream of.
I'm left alone with my other cat that was adopted the same time Bastian was. Tiger Lily, my companion, my comforter.
Life was forever changed on August 22nd. We (the family, her precious kids) blunder through our daily lives and somehow months have gone by.
Let me end this by saying although I am still processing the past months, another great thing happened. M & A had another baby, a baby boy. Not a day too soon. I love all my grands and our newest addition seemed to fill the sadness and the tears began to stop.
So, lots has transpired, but I'm still here. Manging to keep my head above the water level. One day at a time.
Thank you Jesus! For better days, for sweet memories and sober living.
Its a better day.
I'm glad to blog again.
Really.
